You update your bio:

Not settling. Know your worth 💪

Perfect. Bold. Uncompromising. Exactly the kind of thing that says “I’m intimidating in an attractive way. Men love intimidating.”

You stare at your screen for a while. No notifications. No matches. No male attention to validate your deeply internalized self-worth.

Then — Bzzz.

A match!

His name is Kyle, age 34, profile pic is just the inside of a Tesla. Bio says:

“If she’s got a cashapp in her bio, she’s not wife material.”

You brace yourself. The message comes in fast.

Kyle: “You said ‘know your worth’ so here’s $5.”

There’s a link to Venmo, already filled out. Five dollars. Caption:

“For a pic of those feet”

You blink.

First: rage. How dare he. You’re not some $5 pick-me girl. You’re an experience. A goddess. A sacred mirror reflecting back his fragile masculinity.

But also... your checking account is likely going to be in the negative by the end of the day. You’ve eaten dry cereal for two days. And let’s be honest — you’ve done worse for free.